Gender Roles to Social Responsibility – The Importance of Choosing the Right Words

I come from a culture where we were made to believe that it’s a man’s job to provide for the family and a woman’s job to nurture it—a clear division of gender roles.

In my parents’ generation, I saw many working women—including in my own family—who held reputable jobs. They were just as much providers as nurturers. Yet despite being professionals, they were still expected to be the primary caregivers at home. Maybe that’s why many women chose teaching, as it allowed them to be home by the afternoon and manage household responsibilities.

By responsibility, I mean preparing breakfast and lunch before heading to work—not just for themselves, but also for their husbands, children, and often in-laws. And after a full day at work, they were still expected to help the children with homework and prepare dinner. I know women who are still doing all of this even today, in an era where we claim to be more ‘progressive’ and supportive of shared responsibilities.

If this arrangement is a mutual decision within the family—without the pressure of gendered expectations—I have no issue with that. But if it’s done because of tradition, social pressure, or fear of judgment, then we need to pause and reflect. If it’s done because “that’s what women are supposed to do,” something is not right.

Here’s how I understand it: There may be historical and cultural reasons why these roles developed. And I’m open to exploring that. This is a welcoming space. I’m still learning, still questioning, still figuring out what a family built on shared responsibility looks like.

But here’s what I do know: Times have changed. Societies have changed. Opportunities have changed.

Women have entered and excelled in every field—not just out of necessity, but by choice, passion, and agency. And they’re doing it incredibly well.

Yet the mindset hasn't evolved at the same pace. Even today, many still believe that no matter how demanding a woman’s job is, managing the home remains her ‘responsibility.’ Even if she is simply supervising others doing it. That expectation persists. And if she doesn’t fulfill it, her femininity is questioned. She is criticized, blamed, and judged.

This isn’t just about who does the dishes or cooks dinner. This is about what we are modelling for our children. They’re watching. They’re listening. They’re learning.

So we must ask: How are we talking about household work? Are we teaching our children that keeping a home running is everyone’s responsibility?

Yes, your mother might be doing a lot for the family. But that doesn’t make it solely her job.

And this part really matters: It’s not about “helping” your parents. It’s about understanding: This is your responsibility too. This is your home. This is your family.

That shift—from helping to taking ownership—is where real change begins

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Some of the questions I sit with are: 

• What are we doing to bring about this shift? 

• What language are we using with children around household work? 

• And how might we shape that language to nurture a culture of shared responsibility?